October 2015, Edinburgh University.
I’d gotten into one of the most prestigious universities in the UK, and the second most prestigious in Scotland. I had the best flat overlooking arthurs seat; I was being independent, something I always wanted ; whilst living in Edinburgh.
Throughout high school it was always implied and suggested that university was the only option after school. It was drilled into us that that was the only was to be successful; to rush into more heavy studying without stopping for a breath. So I became a victim to this idea and without a clue about what to study, I panicked. Which resulted in me choosing the subject I thought I enjoyed the most.
I mean, I had to go to Uni because everyone else was…. right?
In my first week of university I was re-searching gap years and places to add to my bucket list. I was looking for a way out right from the very start.
Then everything built up over just a few short weeks. I found myself stressed already, crying into £60 books, not eating and feeling sick ALL THE TIME.
I’d spoken to my friends from back home about their courses and hearing of their enjoyment, alarm bells started ringing and I immediately began to doubt myself. They were finally studying their “passion” and I didn’t feel anything close to that. I mean, I liked learning about clouds and volcanoes, but it definitely wasn’t my passion.
The hardest thing for me was having to admit to myself that I, or so I thought, was a failure. My family and friends had given me endless support for going to uni and I had made them so very proud. And now after all the good luck cards and hugs and tears I received, I had to face everyone I loved and tell them I was a drop out.
I packed all my things, moved out of Edinburgh back to home. That’s when it all became too real. It hit me that I had no idea what I wanted to do. With no job and no career aspirations, I knew I needed to get out. To see the world before becoming an official adult with a real job. And that’s exactly what I did.
Within 2 days of being home, I booked to a one way ticket to Australia and I’ve never been more spontaneous and happy in my whole life.
I want to be the person with stories to tell and experiences to share.
Now my gap year has come to an end, and I have stories to tell and experiences to share.